Globally Hated Hoodie

Every piece we make is built to be worn hard. Here's how to land the right size the first time.

The short version

• Our tees and hoodies run true to size for a regular fit.
• Between sizes, or want a relaxed look? Size up.
• Oversized styles are already cut boxy — order your normal size unless you want extra volume.

How to measure (60 seconds)

Skip the tape measure on your body. Grab a shirt you already own and love the fit of, lay it flat, and measure that. Then compare it to the piece you're ordering.

• Chest — measure straight across, armpit to armpit. Double it for the full chest.
• Body length — from the highest point of the shoulder straight down to the hem.
• Sleeve — from the shoulder seam to the cuff.

If your favorite shirt measures 22" across the chest, you want something close to 22" — not your t-shirt size from a decade ago.

Fit by style

Fitted Tees — 4.3oz 60/40 cotton/poly

Lightweight and breathable, with fitted arms and chest. This is our most tailored cut. If you carry size in the chest or shoulders, or you just don't want anything close to the body, size up.

Styles: Not Today Satan, Cold Dead Hands, Not Today Satan – Army Green

Classic Tees — 5.3oz 100% ring-spun cotton / cotton-poly blend

Regular fit with neck ribbing, side-seamed construction, and double-needle hems. Pre-shrunk for minimal shrinkage. True to size.

Styles: Skullgotha, Globally Hated

Oversized Tees — 6.5oz 100% combed ring-spun cotton

Non-fitted body with a fitted neck — deliberately boxy and cut shorter than a standard tee. Order your usual size for the intended drop. Only size down if you want the boxiness dialed back.

Styles: Not Today Satan – Oversized

Hoodies — 10oz heavyweight fleece

Regular fit with real structure: ribbed cuffs and hem, kangaroo pouch, reinforced stitching. Heavy enough to hold its shape. True to size, with room to layer a tee underneath. Size up if you want it to sit oversized.

Styles: Globally Hated Hoodie, Cold Dead Hands Hoodie, Not Today Satan Hoodie

Hats — snapback, deep crown

• Standard (M/L) — 58cm
• BIG HEAD (XL/2XL) — 62cm

Both flat bill and curved bill come in both crown sizes. The snapback closure gives you adjustment range on top of that.

Sizes we carry

Most tees and hoodies run S through 5XL. Available sizes are listed on each product page — if a size isn't selectable, it's sold out, not unavailable.

Don't shrink it

This is the part people skip, and then blame the size. Heavy ring-spun cotton will shrink if you cook it.

• Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colors.
• Hang dry, or tumble dry on low. Avoid high heat.
• Do not iron directly over the print.

Still not sure?

Tell us your usual size and what fit you're after, and we'll tell you straight. Reach us through our contact page — we'd rather answer a sizing question than process a return.

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